Chocolate Skittles Review - Sweet candy love with a sour ending

I'm a chocolate fanatic. I pride myself in discovering chocolates many sugar faces and I'm always on the lookout for a different way to enjoy the latest and greatest in lifes little chocolate mysteries. Skittles bite sized candies have always been so boring. So predictable. That same stupid red package..that silly sugar flavor that always took second place to chocolate. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride Skittles bit sized candies. You freakin clown of a candy. How stupid you have become. I threw you away this Halloween even before the apple with the razor blade. I used you for marbles while chewing on a real candy.. a candy with something to offer... chocolate. You tried dressing yourself in attention seeking outfits like- Skittles sour, skittles tropical, skittles wild berry, skittles crazy cores .. all in a desperate attempt to mask the true flavor that made you famous.. original fruit. Yeah right.. how original.

But on the way to the movies last week something truly beautiful caught my eye. Time stood still as magical bite sized chocolate music sung sweetly through the air. I gazed eagerly at your radiance, full of hope and with an eager twinkle in my eye, I danced playfully to the candy counter. With every step I hummed the magic of hope in the pop melody of your sweet candy promise. See you were unique and hadn't hoed herself out to everyone with a sweet tooth like the other brands.

Don't let me fool you, it wasn't all happy times and delicious romance. I feared being hurt again. I told myself to not be so reckless this time. I wouldn't let emotion get the best of me. Remembering the painfull snickers of the X.. the deep feeling of emptiness after kit kat had broke off a little piece of my heart sometime last year.

I was going to be logical this time damnit. Play or be played I repeated. So I played along with Skittles' candy ass games. She pretended she didn't notice me at first (which enticed me further) but I wasn't noticeably eager and masked my desire suavely. I was strong and confident in knowing that I had what it took to have her. I reached into my pocket grasping the dollar bill that would bring us both together. I passed by the seductive stares of all of the other washed up candy brands that used to bring me so much joy in my younger years. Laughing at their predictable outfits and stupid excuses for flavor.. I imagined delicately crunching on your candy exterior that would reward me with a delicious chocolate filled center that would put the other candies I once had loved to shame. Skittle's Chocolate you were to be my prize in all of your mystery, beauty and purity. You were at that moment unrivaled at the top of my candy pedestal.

Smiling at the faceless candy pimp at the counter who was selfishly keeping us apart, I quickly completed our transaction. You were now mine.

But I quickly learned the sour truth behind your sugar coated lie. What a stupid fool I was to take the bait.

What a disgustingly awful tasting candy you turned out to be. Chocolate Skittles? Chocolate you say? You're a stupid fake. I'm ashamed and embarassed that I fell for the scam that you marketed to me. Prancing around in your new packaging pretending to be so different, so innocent and true? Chocolate? Vanilla? S'Mores? Chocolate Caramel? Are you freakin kidding me? I tasted nothing close to what you claim to be. How do you live with yourself? There is absolutely no chocolate in you. I repeat there is NO chocolate in Skittle's chocolate. It tastes like a normal skittle marinated in at best chocolate laundry detergent. You are chemicals that fail to imitate chocolate. There is nothing sweet or tasty about you. You are an evil fucked up game playing bitch Skittles Chocolate. I feel dirty to have even laid eyes on you.. let alone touch my lips to your lie. I feel used. I feel dirty but I've learned.

I've learned now that the thrill of the chase inherent in the search for suitable sweet candy treats many times will leave you sour as fuck.

It is my job at Review Before you Buy to let you know the truth to save you from the same mistakes that I have made. I will never, ever do this again. I will not be fooled by Skittles Chocolate. There is no chocolate here. There is nothing real here. You have been sold a lie. Please do not make the same mistake that I have.

Fuck you Skittles chocolate